; It's my turn .

POSTED ON: Wednesday, May 25, 2011 @ 7:39 AM | 0 comments


I have been talking about you all the way and it's time for me to talk about myself . How I'm feeling . Firstly , I know you've got no idea at all what's going through my mind this past 3 months because` I've been pretending all the while . You won't know how many tears are fallen each night for you nor those endless hours that I waste thinking . I just want you to know that I've been fighting to let you go . Somedays I might make it through and then there's nights that never ends . I wish that I could believe that there's a day you'd come back to me but still I'd have to say is I had to do everything again . I think we're both useless . Well , I'm the one who's so stupid and put my hopes too high and he's stupid too cause` he doesnt realise what's infront of him .


I'm the kind of girl that's always lost . The one always with the fake smile and im the girl who seems to be really strong but I continue on breaking everyday . The kind of girl who's always right there and seem to have no problems of my own . The one who holds back tears when she's on the phone until` she's not . And im the girl who's in love with you won't care .


I told myself LOADS of times that it's enough of suffering and it's time to take a step forward and move on . It has been long and my heart isn't cured yet . I can't hurt myself like this . I can't let one guy destroy my life . I can't just stay there . I've gotta go . BUT I FAILED . I tried whatever I could to make my hard take a step forward but it seems that it didnt wanna move . I dont understand why . I really dont . What is god trying to say ? Or what is he trying to show me ? I dont know . And I wanna know soon . And I really hope something good's gonna happen . Something that the people around me would understand so they dont look down . Whenever that they is , I want it fast .


What's the most deepest question in my heart is " Why did you break up with me ? What's the reason ? " You aint telling me anything . You're covering it by saying that we're too perfect for each other and stuff . From the beginning , I already knew you didn't wanna tell me what I had done wrong . I mean , am I the one who's at fault ? okay maybe I am . I dont know ? Im clueless . That's why I made this blog . So you could read it and maybe you're could tell me slowly what I have done wrong . Only you could tell me that . And Muazzam too I guess .


Well , Im done for now . Im really tired . Been crying when i typed this all out . Goodnight . I'll always love you . (':


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